RELATIONAL BULLYING
After The Bullying
Why you should stand up to bullying: the victim’s point of view.
The goal of relational bullying is to hurt a person’s self-esteem and damage their close relationships. Victims feel confused and rejected by their friends and other peers as well. But the effects of relational bullying go beyond the victim and can actually hurt their entire group of friends.
Click here to learn the effects of relational bullying (DOC).
Here are examples of what happens after someone has been relationally bullied.
Watch how being excluded by his friends affects Mark.
Watch how the spreading rumor affects Noah.
Think you know?
The following questions are to help you better understand the effects of relational bullying. Work by yourself or with a friend and try to come up with answers on your own before looking at our answers.
Questions about the video:
Mark:
How do Steve and Jake’s actions make Mark feel confused and upset?
- When a bully decides to exclude someone, their intention is to make the victim feel confused and upset.
- The bully does this by not telling the victim why they are being excluded or ignored. The victim is left to make assumptions about why things happened, making them upset and worried.
- People fear not fitting in or not being liked, and when they are excluded or ignored they feel rejected by their friends.
We understand that Mark feels bad when Steve and Jake excluded him, but what are some other things he might be feeling?
- Confused
- Upset
- Angry
- Lonely
- Frustrated
- Rejected
- Powerless
How would Mark feel differently if Steve and Jake had directly asked him if he was talking about them?
- If Steve and Jake had confronted Mark right away the entire problem could have been avoided.
- Although Mark might have been upset that his friends thought he was talking about them in the first place, the effects of this would have been minimal compared to the effects of being excluded and ignored.
Noah:
What do you think Noah was feeling when he realized the rumor was about him?
- Confused
- Upset
- Angry
- Lonely
- Frustrated
- Powerless
How do you think Noah felt after Jane tells him that he is staying out of it and that he doesn’t want the drama?
- Noah feels defeated by the rumor because it affects more than just how he is feeling, now it is causing problems between him and Jane.
- This makes him feel stressed, frustrated and upset.
Other things to think about:
Why does being relationally bullied make a person feel so bad?
- When a guy or group of guys uses relational bullying, it is meant to hurt the victim by damaging their relationship with others.
- To the victim, the idea of not being accepted or losing a friend is scary and upsetting.
- Often the person using the relational bullying is a friend or someone the victim knows well, so it can be especially hurtful when someone close to the victim is trying to hurt them.
- Also, victims often don’t know why they are being treated this way and it can feel like everyone is angry and against at them.
Put yourself in their shoes, how would you feel if you were Mark or Noah?
Let's take a look at what happens next in If You See Bullying Happening →